Newspaper Archive of
The Kalona News
Kalona, Iowa
August 3, 1900     The Kalona News
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August 3, 1900

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UNION. His k~ace [;aid Ye~. [ A Comforting Imagination. [ Hauling Promptly Done. I An Insinuation, It is related of Jefferson that, while [ "Charlie, dear," said young Mrs, Tor- | "How the Roxsums do draw th.e long I The Plumber--I believe that we Union No. 16 riding, in company with two young [ klns, "do hear the baby crying!" | bow. Don't they make you smile when [ all follow the same vocation in tim [ next world as we do in this. Half-Century Mark. men, he came to a creek so swollen by ] "I haven't heard anything else for the [ they brag about their 'ancestral ~ The Carpenter--Well, if that's trn~ b~dy in Chicago is a shower that the water was up to the, last twenty minutes," was the not very | hallsT " No. 16. It is now amiable answer. | "Yes, but there's no.thing unfrutbful | you will be out of a job." mark, and saddlegirths. A man, stauding on tile bank with a "Isn't it lovelyI" | about that." / The Plural)or--Why so? prosperous than at saddle on lris shouhlers, looked at the "What do you mean? .... What'.~" Tile Carpenter--What use will they has established the the r'tte formerly hours. Disputes the been infrequent and of while employment Lbeen the best since linotypes of the union is He is a uqtive of the rat engaging in printing In Mr. Colbert young men as they rode into tile stream, but said nothing. As Mr. Jefferson came along, the stranger asked if he could not be allowed to mount behind and thus be carried across. The President reined his horse up to a stone; the man nlounted aud, "when across, expressed his thanks and walked away. Several men who had seen the novel ferry asked: "What made you let the young men pass, and why dhl you ask the old gen tlenmn':" "Wal, if you want to know, 1'1t tell you. I reckon "t man carries 'Yes' or 'No' in his face. The young chaps" faces said 'No,' the old un's 'Yes' " party, "'who would have asked the President of the United States for a ! ride." "What! You d~n't mean to say that was Tom Jefferson, du you? ~Val, he's a fine fellow, anyway. What will Pol- ly say when I tell her I have rid be- hind President Jefferson? She'll say I voted for the right nmn." IAEL COLnERT. TyPographical Union many substantial organization in thai the union at the of the Interna 1888, where his abilit] his fellotv delegates had a unique expert for otflee, close vote~, of his canvasses. In for Vice Presi- In 1894 for delegate While last year he lost nmrgin of but one a member of see- SOcieties and has filh, d responsibility in them. : as a sincere aml con- in the cause of Homeseekers' lExcurslon,~ Via Chicago end Eastern Illinois Railroad. On the first and third Tuesdays of Juno, July and Augnst the Chicago and Eastern Illinois Railroqd will place on sale ltomeseekers' Excursion tickets to various points in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Indian Territory, Ken- tucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennes- see and Texas. One fare (plus $2.00) for the round trip. Tickets are limited on going trip fif- teen da~'s from date of sale, with stop- over privileges in Homeseekers' Terri- tory. Returning, tickets are limited twenty-one days from date of sale. Remember that we now have in service a new wide-vestibuled train between Chi- cago and Waeo and Fort Worth, Texas, leaving Chicago daily at 1:50 p. m. Through Pullman sleeping cars and free reclining chair cars. For further partic- ulars call on or address any agent Chi- cago and Eastel'n Illinois Railroad, or C. L. Stone, G. P. & T. A., Chicago. A man never gets old or good enough not to have some pride in the mischief of his boyhood. Mr,q. %V|nB|ow*$ ~OOTHI~G SYI~ITP for ChUdreB t~ething ; softens thegums, reauces illflanlIlaatoa, allays pain. cures wind ColiC. 25 cent~ a bottle Love being totally unreasonable has always been very popular. IN SPANISH. %Vho Has Mastered of the "Jo- of the University to a restaurant on few days ago with fought with the Santiago. Natural- war, and although considerable Campaign, his pro- proper names he gave the Spaw sOUnd. were better tongue, stood Could, 'tnd finally "See here, if you With us you must words as they IIuan' and 'Men- that 'Itunta' is the words the 'J' It's pronounced student with a, for he was $(~t- your lltlnle as it used to be I Is a proud and peerless record. It is a record of cure, of constant con- quest over obstinate ills of women; ills that deal out despair; suffering tha many women think iS WomanPs natural heri. rage; disorders and dis* placements that drive out hope. Lydia E. Plnkham's Vegetable Gomlmund [ and perhaps that this res- cures those t#~[]ubies o~ street." followed so he leaped to~ ~Ilderstand ,, lie shout- hentleman. IIump asses and I'll show By the , you haven't any If you a Country bake, I'll By Himiny, l'm go- put eu his Ut'-"Chicago Inter women, and lobs n~n,, struatlon of its terrors. No woman need be with. out the safest and surest advice, for Mrs. Pinkham counsels women free of charge. Her address Is Lynn, Mass. Osn any woman afford the medicine and p that has ou d a million women? Pays to what he He hasn't ptnk "The way the baby shouts I can shut my eyes and imagine that we are at a bail game when our side has just scored a home run."--Washington Star. What Do the Children Drink? Don't give them tea or coffee. Have you tried the new food drink called GRAIN-O? It is delicious and nourish- ing, and takes the place of coffee. The more Grain-O you give the children the more' health you distribute through their systems. Grain-O is made of p'~re grams, and when properly prepared tastes like the choice grades of coffee, hut costs about as much. All grocers sell it. 15e and 25c. Hence His Tears. l~:~stor-%Vell, my guod man, how ~s your wife? Countryman (beginning to sob)--She -~sht'- died last night. I'astor--My dear nmn. control your- selfq llenleli|l,cr at tills time the inex- haustible consol'ttions of-- Countryman--And she did not even tell me where she had hidden the nlonoy she has lit, on savillg ever since we were married.--New York Wm'ld. Do Your Feet Ache and Burn? Shake ioto your shoes Allen's Foot- Ease, a powder for the feet. It makes tight or new shoes feel easy. Cm'es Corns, Bunions, Swollen, Hot and Sweat- ing Feet. At all druggi~ts and shoe stores, 25c. Sample sent FREE. Ad- dresg"~llen S. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y. Fuyalltul'e in Turkey. Very little furniture is used in the bedrooms of Turkish houses. Rarely is a chair seen in any of them. A few mats adorn the room, and the bed is stretched on the floor. Lane's Family Medicine Moves the bowe|~ each day. In order to be healthy this is necessary. Acts gently on the liver and kidneys. Gurez sick headache. Price 25 and 50o.. On all average every Berliner re- ceives 108 letters a year, and writes 138. Ilamlmrgers come next; they re- ceive eighty and write ninety each. Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spok- en of as a cough cure.--J. W. O'Brien, 322 Third avenue, N., Minneapolis, Minn., Jan. 6, 1900. A man who is poor in trust is the poorest of all God's creatures.--Hol- land. Egotists cannot converse; they talk to themselves only.--A. B. Alcott. "That's right. Old Grandfather Rex- sum, who made the money for the fam- ily, was a teamster."--I'hihtdelphta Press. Don't study history piecemeal just because it is mostly made up of ,,scrfl!ls." have for plumbers where there IS no water ? The worst tiling about the man who wastes his time Is that he always I wastes a great deai for other people. t '/'he Im~-n~ga--~st-his coun- try is never a hero.--Victor ttugo. A'Vc etable Preparationf0rAs- simi!.atinll theFood andRe ula- ting {he Stomachs aadBowe]s of Promotes Digestion,Cheerful- ness andRest.Contains neither p um,Morphine nor NiaeraL T ~1~ C OTIC. Apeffecl Remedy for Cons.~- Iion, Sour Stomach,Diarrnoea For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of | hirty Years ;P rl.l[ C;EN~rA;JN COMPANY. New "fol~a OIT'~', IIII The summer's awful heat will kill those not fit to resist it---:those whose bodies are full of poison because they have neglected their bowels. The victims of sunstroke, or of any of the other terrible dangers of summu--diarrhoea, dysentery, cholera morbus---are always those who have been carekss about keeping clean in- side, and as a result have 4heir blood full of rotten filth breeding disease germs and their bodies ready with weakness to succumb to the hot spell. Dizziness, heat headaches, sick stomachs, sticky oozing ill-smelling sweats, restless nights, terrible pains, gripes and cramps in the bowels, sudden death on the street, all result from this neglect. Keep yourself clean, pure and healthy in. side, disinfected as it were, with CASCARETS CANDY CATHARTIC, the greatest antiseptic bowel tonic ever discovered and you will find that ewaT form of summer disease will be effectively CANDY C/tTH/tl TIC {~ ~,,,SLeT. ALL DRUGGISTS CASCAR~TS are absolutely harmless, a purely vegetable co. po~n.. _NO mercurial or other ASC~ ' our, CAP~TS promptly, elfeetiyely and per .ma..ntlz cur~. every_ alsoe]oi~x ~: ~omach, Liver aml but correct any aria every :orm oz *rf.egutan_~..0z.~ne.noV.e~s, ~.c u g * .rracea aria good. Never sicken, weaken or gripe, write xor ooo~e~ ana xree sample. ~ 0 FINE COFFEE, OLD Fine Old Samtos! a : ~ ~ ~ ,:/ ~ !ili~ii) :! i ,