Newspaper Article Archive of
The Kalona News
Kalona, Iowa
Lyft

Newspaper Article Archive of
The Kalona News

December 19, 2018 This year my annual Christmas letter is going to the dogs, literally
Article Pages -- as published on the The Kalona News website.

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ARTICLE DESCRIPTION:

I decided to write a Christmas letter to my family pack because I heard that it is a clever way to let others know what’s going on in your life and because it’s a perfect time of year to let your family and friends know you think of them and appreciate them.

I thought about doing a snazzy Powerpoint presentation but realized that would place me in the category previously held by the least favorite long-distance cousin, so I’ll just type out a straight-forward accounting of this past year.

Chunk, the cat, asked to be included, but I said no. He would use up all my paper and time talking about eight of his nine boring lives, 90 percent of which would be describing his 23-hour nap cycles, while as a dog, I have one great big life, chock full of happy awesome-ness.

My life is a big repetitive cycle of eating, napping, fetching sticks, eating, napping, playing tug-of-war, eating, napping, running outside, eating, napping, chasing rabbits, catching rabbits, eating rabbits, throwing up rabbits, napping, hauling trash, riding in the car when my owner runs errands, eating, napping, barking at the mailman, eating, napping, marching the perimeter of my property, eating, napping, and standing at guard on my porch.

Oh, and treats! My most favorit-est part of my day. It’s even better when I can trick both my dad person and my mom person each into giving me one at bedtime. The only thing better than one treat at night, is two treats.

My people had a crazy busy year because in addition to running Cornerstone Excavating, they opened a new business this year called Washington Auto Center, which took an insane amount of planning and challenging work. Things are finally starting to settle down a little bit, but weather did not cooperate very well this fall for Cornerstone, with winter coming too early.

One of my pack, Delaney, went off to college, and I miss her. It is extra quiet around here, and since she was the cat’s main person, the cat is now disgruntled and needy, and bugs me constantly for attention.

My other two girls, Kinzey and Jaicey, went back to high school in the fall, and I miss them during the day. They love on me and brush me every evening, because they say I am a shedding machine. I think that means I’m a superhero with a cool talent.

My leaders keep talking about putting me on a diet, saying something about if I eat too much, I will get fat. Getting fat sounds awesome. I hope they put me on the eating-too-much diet.

The males in my pack went deer hunting and gave me all the scrap pieces and the legs when they finished salvaging all the meat. I tried my best to bring all the legs and parts inside, but the mom kept me out of the house. I only threw up twice from overeating, but she complained for days that I reeked of “deer breath.” It was the best smell, ever.

I love Christmastime because my female pack leader spends lots of time outside with me, putting up bows and other crap and lights. I love the lights, they take a long time to put up and require lots of untangling. I like to grab the ends and race off with them.

She makes tons of trips up and down the ladder and in and out of the house for cords and stuff and screams a lot for no reason, which is exciting. Christmas lights also means she needs to come out late at night when it’s freezing cold to unplug all the cords, and I race along with her and try to help. Then I run off barking into the night, so she can stand outside longer and shiver, yelling something about not waking the neighbors.

The second-best thing about Christmas is lots of package deliveries. I like all the exercise I get barking loudly and running around looking aggressive. I like the mail guy and green guy OK, but for a long time my motto was “dressed in brown, you’re going down.”

When I was a little pup, the delivery guy kicked me, and I have a tough time forgetting that, even though it’s a new and nice guy now, that knows my name and brings me a huge treat every time.

The packages always have my name, Thor, written in big red letters on them, to help them remember my treat. It always goes better when my owner is home, I don’t get quite so anxious wondering if I should be allowing them onto the property or not.

Protection is one of the things I am really good at, and I like to practice. When I was a pup, she didn’t let deliveries come to the door when she wasn’t home because I liked to shred the cardboard packages.

Some of them tasted important, and those were the most fun to chew on.

I hear my pack talk about what a merry Christmas season this is and that the whole reason for all these lights, decorations, and the tree and everything, is the Savior that was born for them and made a way for them to live forever.

That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard. I know the One they talk about created me, too. I am grateful for all the people in my life and the family that surrounds me. I am blessed to live in the nation that I do and that my family has freedom to worship and celebrate Jesus every year.

The awesome thing is that I see my family celebrate Him every day, not just at Christmas. I guess that’s why it’s OK for them to set up a whole tree in the house, while I’m not allowed to bring in even one little stick.

Merry Christmas to all my fellow dogs and cats everywhere and their families. God bless you all.

– Thor, the family dog

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